The Deepest Emotion Is The Trickiest!

To love is to not measure.

The deepest abyss of no return is to have loved and lost.
I saw the latter part of the sentence as one of my friends status and what an irony that was for me, coming from a person who had the most perfect life, atleast to most of our eyes. Life chooses to teach us it's lessons in the most wierdest ways.

Living in a society where your success is determined by how soon you got married and had babies, makes me wonder if all these people genuinely knew what they were doing. You don't have to figure everything out to plunge into it, I agree. But, some of your choices can be manipulated by the society to behave in a certain way, just like social media and it's influence. Well, it's true how subconsciously our lives are wired by the constant presence of the routine and order and we take the easy one out.

When I am in my mid-thirties today, I had not even in the wildest of my dreams had dreamt about the phases of life I went through. It has been an emotional rollercoaster, with more troughs than crests and I had to learn to beat it all. 

The mind just slipped into a state of melancholy after watching a movie, by one of the best in the art form, from down south.

Set in the backdrop of IAF, he helms a love story, so complex and trepid, that you want to have it, part and whole and still not have it at all. Love stories have embroiled our thoughts and emotions from time immemorial and has been part of my growing up as well. The bitter-sweet emotion that is, I have loved and lost thrice, during different phases of my life, so deep enough, it trembles me that I might not walk the path again. My small victory is to be able to see each of these with much clarity today and be okay with it. By not punishing myself or not having to live with feelings of guilt over "What ifs!", to have had the courage to move on with dignity everytime I was bogged down, to have been brave enough to accept that this too was part of my life and learning.

And life ain't a movie, for the lead roles to hit on a climax at some juncture and undo the whole thing at the end, because it needs to move on and sometimes it's a one way for you to travel.

Being the teenager of the past and having lived through my 20s with dreams in my eyes, I cannot fathom the millennial love which starts with one thing and ends with some other. And to my startling admission, I might have loved the old way, thrice over. Just like the movie from the legend! The pure, deep and unadulterated one to the best of my knowledge.

What has been a common thread amongst all is my writing - first it took wings for self, then for the other and then to a higher pedestal of poetry, the next time around. Lol

And I am okay to not belong to the current era of instant love and wedlock, and continue to wonder about the unknown of what lies ahead! 

Because what is meant to be is meant to stay!